The fear of the past

Thinking about whom I fear the most, it is actually mostly people that already know me for a while.

I am not scared of entering a room full of strangers and telling them I am a professional pokerplayer or I am a lifestyle-coach.
But when I talk to my uncle/my old neighbour/old friends from kindergarden I find myself searching for different things to say.

It somehow feels wrong to tell them I am a pokerplayer. It is not very clear to me if I don't want to tell them what I do because I make more money than they do and have more freedom or because I somehow feel ashamed that I left the conventional life.

It seems to me that people forget that humans change along the way. I am not the way I was when I was 5 years old and so are you. But somehow people remember that you ate too much chocolate when you were 5 years old or you lied a lot or you never used to brush your teeth. Whatever you did 25 or more years ago doesn't matter anymore. But people tend to forget that. They look at you and immediately all their memories from 25 years ago get projected on the "new" you.

So, when I stand infront of an "old" friend, my 5 year old self shows up and I see all the things I did back then and I assume that the person infront of me judges me that way ( which very often is actually true ). Then I feel ashamed, because 25 years ago I lied to him to impress him, when I told him I received that new Lego Star Wars fighter for my birthday, and he knew I was lieing.


Get rid of that!
First of all. If you think this way, it is because you have not seen that person for a long time. Meaning that neither you nor him tried to get in contact with eachother. So you lived your life happily without this person and you most likely will stay happy without him/her. If you both decide to keep in touch you are most likely going to laugh at the things of the past and be impressed at how you both changed over time. and discuss the great things you both learned.

You are great! You have experiences to share that are valueable for the world.
Even if you think you don't. Believe me, you do. Even if it is only that fire burning in you that you need to light up.

Don't be ashamed of who you are, what you do or what you are about to do. Life is there to serve you.
And you are here to serve yourself.

I wish you an awesome day, full of hard work, love and passion.

Pedro Goncalves